Avenge me! Avenge me!

Title: Red Dawn (1984)

Red Dawn is a movie filmed around the American mass consciousness in the 80's that the world is a dangerous place with the Soviet Union looking to conquer free society or, at the very least, the US of A. The movie genre centrally themed around US vs USSR conflict dissipated in the 90's and remained so today.

In Red Dawn, an alliance of Communist army parachuted into a mid-western town as part of a full-scale invasion. It was up to a band of high school teenagers who escaped the initial onslaught to stay alive and free their captured neighbors.

I seem to recall that the movie was ridiculed at the time as being too far fetched. So no one took it seriously. Seeing it at a theater here in California, I remember overhearing some dude saying something in the vein of "If the Russians were to land in East LA, they'd be gang banged." I don't know how kids who saw it in other parts of the US felt, but my friends and I thought this movie as a joke.

Over the years, I neither saw nor had any interest in seeing Red Dawn again. It wasn't all that interesting to me, but I caught plenty of references to it on some TV shows or radio programs such as Family Guy, The Adam Carolla Show, and Jericho. Of course, I'm baffled by why Red Dawn is being remade for a 2010 release. It doesn't seem likely to work, unless there's a large group of population in the US who are still afraid of a Soviet invasion.

I did manage to catch Red Dawn again a few weeks ago on This TV. I kept an open-mind. And I'm still unable to understand why there's a remake. I was, however, appreciative in seeing Charlie Sheen (Young Guns), C. Thomas Howell (Outsiders), Lea Thompson (Back to the Future), Jennifer Grey (Ferris Buehler's Day Off), Patrick Swayze (Road House), Harry Dean Stanton (Escape from New York), and Powers Boothe (Rapid Fire). All of them starred in some of my favorite movies. I still watch Charlie Sheen today in Two and a Half Men co-starring another 80s teen star, Jon Cryer (Duckie in Pretty in Pink).

Girls of Red Dawn

Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey. Years after Red Dawn.

Memorable Quotes from Red Dawn

- "Wolverines!"
- "Boys! Avenge me! Avenge me!"
- "Two toughest kids on the block, I guess. Sooner or later, they're gonna fight."
- "Last I heard, there were a billion screaming Chinamen."

- "There will be no further reprisals against civilians. This was stupid. Impotence. Comrades... If a fox stole your chickens... Would you slaughter your pig because he saw the fox? No. You would hunt the fox... You would find where it lives and destroy it! And how do we do this? Become a fox."
- "C'mon! We're all going to die, die standing up!"
- "America is a whorehouse... where the revolutionary ideals of your forefathers... are corrupted and sold in alleys by vendors of capitalism..."
- "I never saw the Eckert Brothers again. In time, this war - like every other war - ended. But I never forgot. And I come to this place often, when no one else does."

I used to fuck guys like you in prison

Movie Title: Road House (1989)

Road House was one of those movies that grew on me. When I first saw it (from my sister's LASER disc collection of all places), I thought it was a joke. I kinda thought that perhaps, director Rowdy Herrington was trying for a "black belt theater"-type of a movie that was prevalently shown in Southern California back in the 80's and early 90's. Of course, the "black belt theater" movies were Hong Kong martial arts flicks that were really crappy in acting and dialogue, but spectacular in action. The problem, I thought, was that the charm of Hong Kong-made martial arts movies do not carry over to American action films.

Still, there was something about the Road House movie that made me watch it several times on cable over the years. If you try to break it down, well, then, you need a life. But if you did anyways, you'll find so many plot holes, cheesy lines, and cliches that you'd want to switch chanel or turn off the TV.

But you didn't. Why? Because Road House was a guilty pleasure. It's a guy movie. Patrick Swayze made a movie for girls in Dirty Dancing two years earlier. Maybe he was compelled to make a guy movie to win back his macho image. I'm just sayin...

Patrick Swayze and Kelly Lynch stars in Road House

Of course, he drove a Euro car in this movie, not a muscle car. It was a nice 1986 Mercedes Benz 560 SEC.

The lines in Road House were so bad that they made you chuckle. The plot was so basic, that kudos ought to be handed out to Patrick Swayze for making the movie memorable through his character, Dalton. As a professional bouncer with a philosophy degree from NYU, Dalton used tai chi and martial arts to control physical pain. Or so it would seem. How else would he be able to tell Dr. Clay that "[p]ain don't hurt"?

While we're at it, why not hand out kudos to Rowdy Herrington and his film staff for polishing off an 80s movie in grand style. Released at the end of the 80's in May 1989, Road House was very much an 80's film bearing the time stamp of mullets, moussed-up and feathered hair, acid wash jeans, and monster trucks.

Also worth mentioning was the Road House movie band featuring Jeff Healey, a popular blues rock musician in the 80's who lost his sight as a baby. Jeff Healey also died of cancer in March 2, 2008. RIP.

Kelly Lynch as Dr. Clay in Road House and in a 2006 fundraiser.

Of course, we can't forget Kelly Lynch. Can't have a guy movie without a chick for the hero to win over. Kelly Lynch played Dr. Elizabeth Clay, the tall blonde local who became the object of Dalton's affection. Donning the popular big poofy hair of 80s fashion, Kelly Lynch was one of the few girls in the world who can make a table cloth look really sexy.

Road House Movie Quotes

Pain don't hurt.

I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.

Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone.

If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.

I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.

If you're gonna have a pet, keep it on a leash.

Oh man, it's a mean scene around here, man. There's blood on the floor of this joint every night.

Patrick Swayze (1952-2009) RIP

Oh my God, the quarterback is toast!

Title: Die Hard (1988)

The action blockbuster that launched Bruce Willis onto stardom. He was already an established TV star in Moonlighting. And the competition was tight for big budget action stars at the time, namely, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Mel Gibson. Die Hard immediately placed Bruce Willis among them. And he seemed to outlast them all, with possibly the exception of Mel Gibson. And that would be a close call.

Hans Gruber played by Alan Rickman falling to his death in Die Hard

Another star to rise from Die Hard was Alan Rickman. His portrayal of Hans Gruber opposing Bruce Willis' John McClane was a scene stealer, if not mesmerizing. To this day, I can't say the word "detonator" without mimicking Rickman's fake German accent, at least in my head. Die Hard was his big screen debut, but he was already acting in British TV shows. Since 2001, Alan Rickman had been playing Professor Severus Snape in all the Harry Potter movies.

The supporting casts in Die Hard were fantastic as well and very likeable. What little role they had, they made the most of it and had become classics themselves:

• Special agents Johnson and Johnson (Robert Davi and Grand L. Bush from Colors) were a great dry comic relief in a movie that already gave chuckles in between action.
• Argyle (De'voreaux White) ... I just can't forget that name.
• Harry Ellis (Hart Bochner). "Hans. Bubi. I'm your white knight!" This guy should have been a bigger star.
• Theo (Clarence Gilyard Jr.). See title of the post. "Oh my God, the quarterback is TOAST!" has been listed in the Urban Dictionary.
• Sergeant Al Powell. Reginal VelJohnson reprised this role in an episode of Chuck (Chuck versus Santa Claus).
• Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson. Paul Gleason was pretty good at playing clueless authoritative figures.
• Richard Thornburg. Excellently played by William Atherton as an egotistical reporter who looked to expose John McClaine's identity for want of bumping up his career. Of course, he didn't care that doing so endangered McClane and his family. He's good at playing egotistical characters (Walter Peck in Ghost Busters and Professor Hathaway in Real Genius).

Die Hard was simply the right mix of character chemistry, action, and humor. It's an action-packed thrill ride that cannot be outdated no matter how old the film gets. Twenty one years later, it's still a great movie to watch.

This is me too Pacman!

Title: Colors (1988)

Colors starring Sean Penn and Robert Duval, directed by Dennis Hopper

In the 80's, before "bling" and gangsta became fashionable, Dennis Hopper directed a movie that was deemed controversial at the time. Colors depicted the violent crimes and familial relationships of the LA street gangs. Growing up in the 80's, drive by's and drug busts were constantly on TV, radio, and newspaper. In my hometown, Latino gangs were prevalent and when the movie came out, those who lived in any gangland areas of Southern California attested to its accuracy. It was over-the-top in many ways, but still accurate enough.

The story itself explored many complex relationship among the thug streets of Los Angeles - gangs and gangs, cops and gangs, cop and lady gangbanger, cops and cops, cops and snitches.

The relationship between the main characters Officers Bob Hodges (Robert Duval) and Danny "Pacman" McGavin (Sean Penn) was that of a mentor-newbie. Hodges, who's near retirement, was teaching Danny how to survive the streets as a cop and deal with the gangsters to gain respect. Hodges seemed to have a rapport with Frog (Trinidad Silva), an elder gangbanger who's seen it all and may have dealt with Hodges a few times before. Frog and Hodges were seen chit-chatting a few times. Frog smirking at the end when Hodges died was mildy uncomfortable. I thought those two were friends.

Colors had some of today's prolific actors in small roles: Don Cheadle, Damon Wayans, Forrest Whittaker who starred with Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgement High, and Mario Lopez who went on to star in Saved by the Bell and Dancing with the Stars.

What's a white guy doing in a Latino gang?

I had not seen the movie in over ten years but a couple of scenes still remain in my head. The first was Courtney Gains as Whitey. You can't miss him. He's the red-headed white guy in a Latino gang. I can't help but chuckle in the drive-by scene that Whitey spent propped up against a wall because he was too waisted to move. Courtney Gains still enjoys a cult following from his role as Malachai in Children of the Corn.

Another scene that I'm fond of was when Louisa Gomez (Maria Conchita Alonso) was discovered by Danny in the backroom with a gangbanger during a party that the cops were busting up. "This is me too, Pacman!" was just too funny to forget.

There weren't many quotes that I recall. The one that stuck with me the most was the advice that Hodges gave Danny:

There's two bulls standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one:
"Hey pop, let's say we run down there and fuck one of them cows". The
older one says: "No son. Lets walk down and fuck 'em all".

Colors is a timeless classic. The Colors soundtrack, provided by various artists such as Ice T and Salt-N-Pepa, still holds up today. Many may find the movie dated since the thug style is so prominent in today's pop culture. But Colors may have started it all.

I'm Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets

Title: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

Lethal Weapon 2 starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover

The 80's were good for Mel Gibson. Yes, the 90's were good to him as well, but he became a mega star in the 80's. Who'd a thought that Lethal Weapon would become THE cop buddy franchise. It's a standard that lives today and will be for more movies to come.

The one stark difference to me between Lethal Weapon 2 and the original Lethal Weapon was the slapstick tone of the sequel. It seemed that Martin Riggs, the lethal weapon, had a makeover and now tried to be part of the close circle of cops around him instead of embracing his lone wolf past. He joked around with his colleagues, became attached with Roger Murtaugh's family, and even fell in love with Rika Van De Haas (played by the ever hot Patsy Kensit). Riggs was not the character that was introduced in the first Lethal Weapon.

Patsy Kensit costars in Lethal Weapon 2

Still hot: Patsy Kensit at the 2009 BAFTA TV Award

Still, despite the funnier and more endearing buddy cop relation (bromance by today's standard), Lethal Weapon 2 was memorable for Leo Getz, superbly played by Joe Pesci who went on to star in other unforgettable movies such as My Cousin Vinny and Goodfellas. I thought that Joe Pesci stole pretty much any scene he was in simply because I wanted to hear what's he gonna say next. Joe Pesci had some of his better movie quotes and funniest moments as Leo Getz.

Funny Leo Getz Quotes

• Oh okay, bad cop, bad cop. [after initially meeting Riggs and Murtaugh]
• I'm Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets.
• Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius? [explaining money laundering to Riggs and Murtaugh]
• They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru!
• Hey hey hey! Listen, if we're going, shouldn't I have a gun?