a decade of zanity

Monday, April 30, 2007

A naked American man stole my balloons.

Title: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

From John Landis this is my favorite werewolf movie and one of my favorite movies of all time. Two American students were touring the English countryside when they were attacked by a lycanthrope (werewolf for the lay person). One dies, the other survived, but infected to become a werewolf in a murderous rampage about London.

Memorable Quotes:

Jack: It's a full moon.
Jack, David: Beware the moon.
David: And stick to the road. Oops.
Jack: I vote we go back to the Slaughtered Lamb

"On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted. The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you David."

Jenny Agutter and David Naughton in An American Werewolf in London"A naked American man stole my balloons."

The linking actor is Jenny Agutter. She was probably my first glimpse of a naked woman. Could there be a hotter actress in a nurse uniform than her? I also didn't see this movie in the theatres. I saw it on either HBO or ON TV (remember them?)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Did you know that every 7 minutes, a black person is born in this country with no soul?

Title: Amazon Women on the Moon (1987)

This movie is a montage of funny sketches shown as commercials, previews, and other fillers in between the feature late night movie, "Amazon Women on the Moon". The clips include established actors and many up-and-coming superstars of the 90's (and still today), including Michelle Pfeifer, David Alan Grier (see video), Phil Hartman, and Arsenio Hall.

Ronny Cox is the linking actor from "Beverly Hills Cop".

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!

Title: Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

One of the top comedies from the 80's and one of Eddie Murphy's best work. I remember the entire theatre laughing out loud when it came out. In addition to the movie as a hit, the soundtrack also made waves in the Billboard Top 40 with classics such as "Axel F" by Harold Faltermeyer, "The Heat Is On" by Glenn Frey, "Neutron Dance" by the Pointer Sisters, and "New Attitude" by Patti LaBelle -- all were top 40 hits.

Memorable Quotes:

"Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."

"Wow. You know, it says here that by the time the average American is fifty, he has five pounds of undigested red meat in his bowels."

"Get the fuck outta here!"

The linking actor from "Spaceballs" is Michael Pniewski.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

May the schwartz be with you!

Title: Spaceballs (1987)

I love spoofs. The 80's had a whole collection of comedies that spoofed movies. We already saw two of them in "Airplane" (1980) and "Naked Gun" (1988). Here's another one. This time from Mel Brooks. "Spaceballs" spoofed various science fiction movies, namely "Star Wars", "Alien", and "Planet of the Apes". The cast of characters were great. Rick Moranis played a very funny Dark Helmet (Darth Vader) and Mel Brooks played Yogurt (Yoda), John Candy was hilarious as Barf (Chewbaca). Bill Pullman played Lone Starr (suppose to be Han Solo, but he looks like Starbuck from the TV Battlestar Galactica).

Memorable quotes:

"I bet she gives great helmet."

"We're gonna have go right to... ludicrous speed."

"I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!"

"Oh, my God. It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow."

Memorable Scene from movie:

Almost all the scenes with Dark Helmet are funny enough to be remembered. But I got a kick from the dancing Alien spoofing "Alien". See video.

The linking actor for this movie and "Bachelor Party" is Robert Prescott. I was going to review "Real Genius" where he played Kent Torokvei, the kiss ass blonde student. "Real Genius" was another 80s comedy classic that I hope I'll get a chance to review.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!

Title: Bachelor Party (1984)

Not sure if this movie is considered as a teen sex comedy from the 80's, but I saw it as a teen, and still laugh my ass off when I catch it on cable. The plot is simple. After Rick (Tom Hanks) proposed to his girlfriend, Debbie (Tawny Kitaen), Rick's buddies threw a bachelor party where all kinds of hilarious antics happened to everyone involved.

Tawny Kitaen in the 80sBachelor Party is one of Tom Hanks early silver screen works as he transitioned from TV. I remember him as Buffy in Bosom Buddies, Uncle Ned in Family Ties, and one of the stars from Mazes and Monsters, a made-for-TV movie on Dungeons & Dragons . He never looked back, except for some memorable stints in Saturday Night Live.

Memorable Scene:

Quite a few scenes I remember - the transvestite peeing standing up in the bathroom, the scene with Nick the dick, and the one shown in the video above.

Memorable quotes:

"Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!"

"Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left."


The linking actor from "Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn" is Brett Baxter, who had an uncredited role in that movie. He played Nick the dick in this movie.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

Title: Star Trek: Wrath of Khan(1982)

Not just a classic because of its ending, but this movie gave us one of the best villains in history of cinema. Khan Noonien Singh, wonderfully played by Ricardo Montalban, is number 10 in the Top 100 favorite villains as compiled by the Online Film Critics Society. More notorious than Kahn himself is the rumour that proliferated around Ricardo Montalban wearing a fake breast plate to display Khan's super physique. The director's DVD cut seems to have answered the mystery.

Memorable scene:

Death of Spock at the end while Kirk and the others looked on helplessly from the other side of the glass door.


Kirstie Alley as SaavikStar Trek II is also the first movie that Kirstie Alley made. She played the Vulcan Saavik. Possibly the hottest alien on the planet at the time.

Also, a few readers point out that Khan was quoting Captain Ahab in Herman Melville's Moby Dick for the titular quote of this post (see the comments). Makes sense since Khan was hunting down Captain Kirk for revenge since their encounter in the Star Trek TV episode, Space Seed.

Interestingly enough, Captain Ahab was played by Patrick Stewart in the 1998 TV movie, Moby Dick. Of course, we all know that Patrick Stewart is also Captain Jean-Luc Picard in, you know, STTNG.

Quotes from the movie:

"Scotty, I need warp speed in three minutes or we're all dead."

"Khan, I'm laughing at the "superior intellect."

"Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario."

"I don't believe in the no-win scenario."

"Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"


"From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

"To the last, I will grapple with thee. "

Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh...
Kirk: ...the needs of the few.

"I have been and always shall be your friend."

"Live long and prosper."

"We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human."

Ricardo Montalban is the linking actor from "Naked Gun". He's very entertaining in the villain role.

Did any of you catch references to this movie from JJ Abram's Star Trek 2009?

Hey Look! It's Enrico Pallazzo!

Title: Naked Gun (1988)

Continuing from the "Airplane" post, this is another classic from the team of Abrahams, Zucker and Zucker. "Naked Gun" is simply full of belly laughs and can be seen over and over again without getting old, despite having OJ Simpson as one of the stars. I wonder if he gets royalties from this movie.

Memorable scene:

The entire baseball game scene when Frank Drebin disguised himself as the umpire. See video above.

Quotes from movie:

"It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."

"Nice beaver!"

"Oh, and one more thing: I faked every orgasm!"

"Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."

"It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!"

"It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside."

Leslie Nielsen is the linking actor from "Airplane". He had a pretty good comedic run in the 80's.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Site Reviews - April 2007

In this edition of Site Reviews, I have a blog site that reviews and discusses mostly indie films and a website that documents movie locations. Visit them when you get a chance.


A great site to find info indie films released on DVD. The author is knowledgeable and sometimes watches up to 3 DVDs a day. "American Hardcore" made it in my movies-to-watch list because of his review. I hadn't known anything about the DVD prior to reading his article.


I stumbled upon this site while researching famous movie houses in Los Angeles. I was floored by the details that author Tony Reeves crafted in order to bring location details to movie lovers. Consequently, he has two books available from Amazon on movie locations.

Netflix, Inc.

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Monday, April 9, 2007

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Title: Airplane (1980)

Arguably one of the funniest movies ever made. The team of Abrahams, Zucker and Zucker was perfecting their slapstick formula that made us laugh throughout the 80's. Other movies they created includes all three Naked Gun series, Top Secret, and Kentucky Fried Movie. They also teamed-up for the Police Squad TV episodes in the early 80's which they brought to the big screen as the Naked Gun.

Memorable Scene from movie:

Kareem Abdul Jabbar in AirplaneThere are many memorable scenes in this movie, among them includes Joey getting a tour of the cockpit and ends up pissing off Kareem Abdul Jabbar. The video above is the jive scene from YouTube. I was hoping to post the other jive scene with the old lady speaking jive.

Memorable Quotes from Movie:

Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley.

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines"

Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

The linking actor from "Tango and Cash" is James Hong.

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Monday, April 2, 2007

Rambo? Rambo's a pussy.

Terri Hatcher and Kurt Russel Tango and Cash

Title: Tango and Cash (1989)

There are cop buddy movies, and there are cop buddy movies. This one is a hidden gem among the lot starring two of the 80's action super stars - Sylvester Stallone (Tango) and Kurt Russell (Cash). "Tango and Cash" attempted to show their light quirky side. But it failed to do so for the general movie goers, hence, receiving three nominations for the Razzie awards - Worst Actor: Sylvester Stallone, Worst Screenplay - Randy Feldman, Worst ACTRESS - Kurt Russell (in drag). However, I, for one, appreciated the movie's light-heartedness. And thought that it is worth mentioning.

Additionally, we get to see a young and super hot Teri Hatcher as Kiki Tango, Ray Tango's younger sister.

Quotes from Movie:

"Well, if it isn't Armani with a badge."

"Rambo? Rambo's a pussy."

Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R...
Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?
Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

Brion James is the linking actor from "48 Hrs" (1982).

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